(photo from weheartit)
day three of the blog #blogeverydayinFEB challenge (from the anchored in love blog) is a little more difficult to write. nobody really likes talking about what scares them the most, but here it goes.
these last couple of days i have been in the book of exodus in my time with the Lord. i've been reading about how God redeemed moses and how His hand was in every aspect of his life. this particular weekend i was reading exodus chapter fourteen, in this part of the story moses tells his people something incredible amongst their complaining.
"don't be afraid. stand up and look! the Lord, He will work out your rescue, you just watch. He will fight the battle for you, and he always wins. you don't have to say a word." v. 13-14. (super loose translation but its in plain english. i like those.)
so in a nutshell that is my worst fear. complaining and fear itself sets me apart from God all the time. i feel for moses' people because im sure in their hearts they weren't just complaining, they were scared out of their minds! my prayers are often clouded with a million other things i'm thinking and it's hard for me to really be still and listen. i hate listening! and when i'm scared or worried about something it clouds my alone time even more. i'm more comfortable to sit and complain to God about what i think i need and want. it's hard to be silent and alone with God...who knows what He's going to tell you! it seems idiotic but maybe i'm truly afraid of what would happen if i let God fight my battle for me. to not have to say a word, to be still and not be afraid of something sounds impossible to me. i fear that my quiet times with Him can sometimes be mundane and just another "check" off my "spiritual check list" that makes me feel good about myself. fear is not of Him and i'm well aware of that but this is where redemption work is done. right here, sitting in my fear (any one's fear) and helplessness. i don't know what's going to happen next in my life (and neither did the israelites) but i'm working on letting God fight the battles for me and well, just be silent.
"the Lord will fight for you, and you only have to be silent." v.14