March 29, 2013

california ain't what she used to be

if i blog one post a month i'm doing pretty good on my own terms. i haven't posted in awhile because life just catches up to me right when i think i've out run it. it's a good kind of busy but i wanted to share what we've been up to lately. so here's an update: we've started to look at some real estate and started to feel like we want to buy a starter home and maybe start a family. one of our strongest callings in life is to be parents and we're actually married so starting a family sounds great, right? sadly wrong. we happen to live in one of the most expsensive parts of the u.s and frankly, we're getting kind of sick of it. 
california used to be a great state but not so much anymore.(long story short: in 2011, 562,000 people left california, and 468,000 came, according to the Census’s American Community Survey. That means 120 people moved out of California for every 100 people who moved in.) where we have to have a TON of money to live in a safe neighborhood with a good school system. but if you are even somewhat lower middle class....guess what. you can only afford the ghetto and the school systems suck. boy ain't orange county great! (the main reason alot of the california population is having to move to surrounding states) we saw that if we moved farther in orange county we could afford a small house but still not to our liking for raising a family. unfortunately the only cities we can afford in orange county are really far away from our jobs and the weather is a lot hotter. stephen and i both hate hot weather, so higher heat and a commute didn't sound like much fun. 
in my opinoin, its' either all or nothing. either stay here so we don't have to commute or find completely new lives and move out of state. so one night we were laying in bed and started to look at some real estate again just for the heck of it...we looked at austin texas. we could afford a 4 bedroom 3 1/2 bath ( basically mansion ) in texas for what we could afford a tiny ghetto 2 bedroom condo here where we live. really depressing but all in all an eye opening experience. looking at these killer homes got us really excited and then we looked at texas in yea. 100 degrees practically every day. yea, no thanks. back to square one. we hate orange county because we can't afford anything here, the state as a whole is going down the toilet yet moving to a cheaper surrounding state....away from family, away from friends and dying in the heat?! life crisis!! 
it's funny because i've lived in california my entire life. i never went to a university or got the "college experience" away from home. i now have this sudden itch to try something new. do something different. what if? what if not? heck, why not? if we move and end up  hating it we can always move back into open arms. but the more i thought about it and planned what we could do...God kept telling me to slow down. put on the breaks. you've only been married for 10 months. you're only 23. this can wait. i lay awake arguing with Him and trying to get Him to catch me a break, but to no avail. God has us here for a reason and if we have to wait, we'll wait. my ideas and thoughts about moving to another state so we can give our future children a better life hasn't depleted in my heart but for's here. sometimes as an adult i want things that are good and have good intentions behind my wants. obviously moving because you want to provide a safe and comfortable living environment for our future children isn't a bad thing....but rushing is. it's not about having a huge house but keeping your heart pure and not being envious of what could be. 
after feeling convicted over wanting to move and have a huge house we've taken a break from looking at real estate and we're just trying to focus on saving money and finishing my degree. i always think about the verse up above ( no pun intended ) and think, wow. how simple. yet how complicated to remember this and not get caught up on things down here on earth. simply looking up and letting God take hold of my dreams of trying something new, exploring new land, having a home for my children and good schools. God can take it! he knows what's going to happen next and i pray that stephen and i are being good stewards of what we already have. thank you God for that reminder. to be still and look up. think about things that are in heaven, not here on earth. You are so good and everyday i am thankful for where you've already brought me. california may be the worst state in the country for all i know (still ranting) but we're here and that's where we'll stay until God gives us the go-head to go somewhere else.