November 30, 2012

i can't feel my face

if you all must know, i have awful teeth but i don't know why. i brush twice a day. i use mouth wash when my breath tastes bad and i floss when i remember. i NEVER drink soda and i've had the worst teeth my whole life. when i was 11 or 12 i got a root canal and my dad was pissed. "if you don't take better care of your damn teeth then when you get older you're not going to have any damn teeth!" dad usually was just mad at the end of every visit because of how much pain the dollar signs made. but whatever, i was a kid. well now, as a adult.....that same tooth that had the root infected. a gross, vigorous infection. i saw the x-ray and nearly died. all i saw was a huge black hole and started freaking out. it also doesn't help when the dentist freaks out and wonders why you're not in any pain. i love when a dentist says, "wow, this is very bad." she also said i had the beginning stages of some type of gum disease. seriously?! i thought i was doing a good job. what the hell! *pardon my french* i also had a couple cavities but wanted to take it a step at a time and not get overwhelmed like usual. so because the root canal failed the first time ( like 10 years ago ) another root canal would be pointless and just a waste of money. so the only option was for them to pull my tooth out. believe me, i had no idea was in store for me today but let me tell you, i am getting a cleaning every 6 months so this never happens to me ever again! i told stephen that after experiencing this pain...i will be more then capable of giving birth. well, i'm not so sure on that yet but we'll see if one day i'm in the delivery room begging for the dentist to come back and rip my teeth to shreds instead. you never know! but joking aside, my mom picked me up from work early and took me to my appointment. i brought my ipod to lessen the sounds of the drill and hopefully calm me down. i'm the kind of person i get really nervous and i start to feel like i have to go to the bathroom. like alot. it's not nice to talk about on here, but it happens. anyways, she did the cavities first which weren't so bad. but then, oh dear God, Father in Heaven, came the tooth pulling. just so you know, they shouldn't call it tooth pulling. they should call it tooth cracking, yanking and pushing. tools were literally jamming open my mouth while the dentist literally cracked/pulled my crown off. i thought i was going to die. i'm thinking, ok? we're done right? nope. after she popped off my crown, she began cracking away. it was horrifying. to feel my tooth being separated from the root was just traumatizing....and feeling my tooth chips and blood all in my mouth. disgusting. and scary! what should have been 15 minutes took HOURS. there were so many complications like my roots kept getting stuck to my bone, so they had to cut into my bone and keep giving me those awful numbing shots. the dentist was super frustrated and even had to take a break from me probably because i was being such a spaz. i was trying my best but i really wasn't prepared for this torture. i think the actual sound of the tooth coming apart is what scared me. it sounded like this awful grind, rip, crack, pop. (and in that order) and mind you, it was so hard to do because my bone was so strong...she had to cut my tooth into like 5 different pieces to pull. not only that but after she pulled the pieces out, smaller pieces of tooth got lost into this gaping hole which she had to claw and saw out. it was a disaster. it seemed like it lasted forever and after i was done...i felt like i got hit by a house. the left side of my face was huge and i was drooling. i felt pretty sexy actually. my lips were as big as angenlina joli and even had that famous dry cracks in them from being pried open for 3 hours. sexy. they gave me all this stuff to take home, instructions, ice packs and whatnot. what about a sticker? no sticker? what about a free teeth whitening? from enduring all that pain? the way i felt...i was expecting the ambulance to be waiting for me. anything! i guess not.whatever, i just wanted to get out of there. i couldn't talk. i couldn't feel my face and the side of my mouth was throbbing so bad...i have never felt anything more painful in my life. thank God for my wonderful husband and mom. my mom dropped me back at our apartment and stephen met me in the car park. he lifted me out of the car and was shocked to see how much pain i was in. probably shocked to see how i looked! to my surprise ( or not really, because i have an amazing husband ) he had the bed made perfectly and spa type music playing in the bedroom, ready for me to relax. isn't he amazing? the look of concern on his face for me was very cute. but it hurt to smile so i just wrote "i love you" and "thank you" "get me a smoothie!" on a piece of paper. he went out and got my meds and a smoothie. so i'm eating a smoothie with a spoon ( no sucking allowed ) and being taken care of by sadie and stephen. so sweet. i'm feeling a little bit better already. but i'm hoping i'll feel good enough to go to the KISS FM jingle ball tomorrow night. i'm going to rest up the most i can and see how i feel. side note: my little sister won tickets to this amazing concert with alot of big names/bands. we're super excited and blessed she picked us to go with her. anyways, i'm still in a lot of pain but can't sleep. so here is this crazy long blog post. so all in all:

dear stephen,
so blessed to have you. you are the best husband ever for being so sweet and taking the best care of me.
dear mommy,
thank you for insisting i don't drive home after my surgery. thank God! it's funny how i thought i'd be fine. NOT. you should always listen to mom. thank you for taking me and picking me up.
dear sadie,
thank you for being a smart enough dog to know i'm hurt and not jumping on me like crazy when i got home today. and also, thankful for just looking at me with your big brown eyes and making me smile. isn't it wierd how dogs know you're not feeling good? they're so much calmer!

dear oxycodone,
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. thank you. ??? i'm feeling happy!

p.s dear stephen's insurnace,
thank you for being good insurance so this didn't cost a gazillion dollars. much appreciated.  


  1. haha oh man. you poor thing. i dont understand the opposite of you. people who eat and drink and neglect the heck out of their teeth with junk and dont have a spot on them!? its so crazy i think I fall in between. you poor thing! i'm sorry for your suffering girl. At least Sadie and Stephen were apart of it and your not single living on your own nowhere near your family :)!!??

    trying to be positive for ya! haha


    1. i know! you fall in between? how dare you! no, jk. i'm glad you will hopefully never have to go through that! haha

  2. Awwwww!! Poor you!! I hope your feeling much better soon!
    Love this little blog of yours! :)

    1. awww. thank you rosie. hugs to you too. xx

  3. Eegads. Really.

    p.s.... I feel you on the bad teeth. Like, really feel you. I have major, major, major work to be done in my own mouth or I will wind up losing every tooth in my mouth. That's just one of the things over $5000 I mention to you a few weeks back! I would go to the orthodontist tomorrow and get everything started if I had the money. And sometimes, it doesn't matter how good you take care of your teeth! My troubles are genetic, as could be yours. Take that, dad.

    p.p.s.... In most cases, birth doesn't hold a card to dental tortures because God gave us the gift of endorphins... and postpartum hormones to make you forgetful. ;) I'll share Seth's birth story one day, probably on his birthday in a few months. It's much easier to read than this. Sorry it went so badly for you!

    1. oh my gosh! what are you going to do? do you have a gum disease? they told me i have the beginning stages but whatever. haha this life is short and i don't have time to worry about this stuff. but seriously, it could be genetic for me. my dad has countless tooth pulling and root canals. yea, that would be nice! your son is the cutest

  4. uggg I loathe the dentist. lol. your thanksgiving looked great!!!