November 15, 2012

dorky, fat puffer fish

you might be wondering what the heck is this post about but i'm about to tell you! but just a disclaimer, if you've never seen the "last friday night" video or not know who katy perry is at all....don't read because then i'll seem like a total psycho. so i grind my teeth at night, so bad that my front teeth literally look like a cheese grater from all the grinding. unfortunately ( or fortunately) i've never slept next to someone before so i never knew i grineded my teeth until i got married. go figure. so i find out i'm a teeth grinder so i got a mouth guard ( which looks like a retainer ) to wear at night to keep my teeth from grinding. the first night it was super uncomfortable and literally gagged from this crazy thing. anyways, when i first got it i tried to talk with it in my mouth.....and i sound literally just like katy perry's alter ego dorky girl from "last friday night". i usually don't think i'm very funny but honestly, it's hysterical when i do it and stephen and i will stay up in bed laughing our butts off for hours. "hey, this is my first time. are you ok with that?" it just sounds so funny i can't explain it but i definitely got into character and stephen played along. ok, creepy? maybe but we had so much fun with it just laughing like crazy. it felt like a sleepover with your best friend and you can't stop laughing. i love being married to my best friend. so last night i told him i felt like a fat, dorky puffer fish. i sometimes forget to put it in only because i hate how it feels even though i know it's good for me. here is a recap of last night:

stephen: don't forget to put in your night guard babe
me: ugh. (putting it in my mouth) i feel so sexy (in my "last friday night" voice, trying not to laugh)
stephen: oh boy
me: honey, i feel like a fat dorky puffer fish
stephen: you are crazy
me: but seriously, look how it makes me cheeks puff out!
stephen: trying not to laugh
me: look how sexy i am

and we both start laughing. i can't get over this mouth guard thing. as much as it's a pain in my side to wear this stupid thing ( not to mention how unsexy i feel when i wear it) i guess i just make a joke out of it to make myself feel better. so yea, i'm a cute preschool teacher by day and a fat dorky puffer fish by night. oh God, i'm sorry. it is super funny but sometimes stephen can't handle my crazy alter go of a dorky chic in a retainer and he tells me to take it out of my mouth when i talk because it starts to freak him out when i remain in character. haha! ugh. i better stop. but seriously, if you only knew. the first 6 months of marriage have been hilarious and wonderful. 

p.s looking at this picture of katy perry makes me laugh even harder. ugh, i love her! i love that she is sexy but not afraid to show her dorky side. katy perry, thank you for helping me embrace my dorky puffer fish face when i go to bed. i think my husband secretly likes it.

p.s.s i don't actually call stephen "steveypoo" but i thought it was funny. ok, goodbye!

1 comment:

  1. I grind my teeth, too! It's awful, actually, because it's playing havoc on my teeth. I need braces and surgery. Do you want to donate to my braces-and-surgery fund? Haha. Anyway, I asked about a mouthguard and my dentist told me it won't work in my situation. *pout*