January 6, 2011

Budget bride...

is an understatement.

The date we have in mind is not for another 9 months but things are looking very grim even with my new job. Everyone says it should be fun and la la la...don't be a bridezilla Danica....have a good attitude! Well, pardon me but I don't give a damn about what you think. A good attitude isn't going to erase the dollar signs off my Dad's face. And I can't seem to erase them either. I feel bad for him I really do...I'm sure he's regretting not having two boys right about now....but it seems like Stephen and I won't get married for another 2 years if we do it on our own. This calls for a lot of prayer and patience because I know my sinful nature and my sinful nature is to be sad and give up. I'm trying... well, sorta. Maybe one day I'll look back on this sad night with a baby in my arms in my small apartment with my husband...but the dollar signs won't let me dream that far again.
I've been dreaming about my wedding since I was a old enough to think that "Billy Bob" was sorta cute in Kindergarten. ( I hope Steve doesn't get offended by the sentence. ) I wanted huge chandeliers and a big castle, a huge ball gown that takes 3 people to hold and lots of people cheering and crying. I understand now as an adult I can't have everything I want and how I pictured it. But no princess gown, fancy cake, Paris theme and decor is going to make my marriage. The older I get the stronger my relationship grows and I understand what is really important. As an 18/19 year old when the economy starting going down I understood I would have to be a budget bride and I was more than okay with that. All I wanted was a church wedding, lots of kids running around under my dress, guests getting a burned CD of our favorite songs and finger foods. Obviously...as I've grown up my ideas of my dream wedding has changed along with my dreaming scale but I don't know if we can do it in a decent amount of time. My dad is a good man but I think my best bet is to wait longer to get married and do it on our own. Yea, maybe we won't be able to afford food, or a reception, or all those pretty flowers but it will be better than having to rely on my parents. And it will also be better than settling for a courthouse wedding. ( which is way out of the question, even for Stephen. ) I really hope whoever is reading doesn't get the wrong idea and I honestly feel like Drew Barrymore in the movie "Never Been Kissed" when she writes the newspaper article at the end. haha. But anyways, Stephen and I are going to have to work very hard. First saving for an apartment and then the wedding but by Stephen's encouragement and God's grace I think we can make it.
As I'm freaking out by my dad's answer to everything wedding or budget related, as I'm freaking out picturing signing papers and then leaving, as I'm freaking out about money, as I'm freaking out about everything spiraling down to nothing I pictured and a bridezilla moment....Stephen. My wonderful fiance encourages me and stops me right in my tracks. He reminds me of an all mighty God. He reminds me of patience. He reminds me of old fashioned work and savings. He is literally God sent and my hero. He say's I deserve a wedding gown and to feel like a Queen. He insists we can do it on our own no matter how long it takes. He's not only taken initiative to plan the wedding but he's the one calling the shots. I couldn't be more surprised and thankful by this. I'm sure most men would want nothing to do with it and would rather sit on the couch and watch sports than help with wedding planning...not my man! As you've seen how my writing has changed from the beginning to now...that's exactly how I think and talk. I freak and lash out with negative and sarcastic remarks and then I slowly realize how I'm acting and being perceived and then I whip back into shape. I love the Lord with all my heart but I refuse to let people think I'm perfect. I'm not. This wedding planning thing is way harder than I thought and I no longer care how long it takes...Stephen and I are going to do this. It may take awhile but we will have fun and it will be stress free because we are going to do it on our own time and in God's name.

The End

-Budget Bride and proud of it.

6 comments:

  1. There used to be a show on TV I watched about people doing weddings on a budget and I loved them all! They always turned out lovely, so don't even worry about it. I wish you the best, and I'm sure the wedding will be beautiful ♡

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  2. :). Also, I love the new layout of your blog.

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  3. That's my Danica! I am so proud of you, dear. :) Yes, it will be a long journey getting there, but enjoy the little steps along the way! And one day, you can look back on all the little things you got frustrated or lashed out on. :) I believe in you!

    love you, dearie.
    anh♥

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  4. danica, i completely understand what you're going through-- ben and i were a little disappointed when we figured we would have to pay for our wedding ourselves, especially being so young, and seeing all of our peers having huge, expensive, and extravagant weddings of their own all on their parents dime really got to us. But my father has never really been in the picture, and his father passed away after suffering a horrible stroke the year we started dating, so those were two things that right off the bat we were doing without. then my dear mother, (as much as i love her), sort of gave me the hint that she wasn't going to pay for the wedding right around the time we got engaged last year, and it was most definitely a huge emotional blow-- that and the fact up until now she has not shown one speck of interest in my wedding :*( which is honestly worse then the fact that she wasn't even willing to help pay for one little thing.
    anyways, so i completely know how you feel! it's been a little tough planning such a budget wedding, but ben is just amazing and is so supportive, so that helps. but to answer your question, i made those save the dates for about $30 total, i just put the typography together on my computer, took it to kinko's, and they printed them off and cut them for me for about 16.00 for 100! (2 on each page)

    the glitter was actually the most expensive part, but i just had to have some glitter on there, any invitation that represents a party thrown by ME absolutely HAS to have some glitter on there :)

    sorry for writing you my life story <3
    x

    OH and the best thing about paying for your own wedding is that you get to do whatever you want with no one hanging over your shoulder, because YOU'RE paying for it!!!

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  5. Ahh, Danica. I can totally relate to your fears and the hurdle that money adds to something that should be joyous rather than burdensome. My husband and I got married really quickly (10 weeks) on a pretty tight budget, but fortunately, my parents were able to pay for most of that for us, which was quite a blessing. I wrote a little bit about planning an affordable wedding here, if you want to read it:
    http://bargainbabe.com/2010/05/12/planning-an-affordable-wedding-in-10-weeks-or-less/

    Best of luck!!

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  6. P.S. When I was researching wedding planning, I came across this blog which was inspiring so far as budgeting goes:

    http://2000dollarwedding.com/2008/07/from-conception-to-reception.html

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