November 16, 2010

Looking Up


From my car accident, to money worries and any worry you can think of: Stephen loves taking me to "the top of the world" in Laguna Beach were you climb up this hidden hill and you can look out over all of Orange County and the ocean...it's really something special. We went up there yesterday and did our couples devotional and just looked at the sunset and tried to relax and put everything behind us. I ended up smiling and thinking about how wonderful this man is; that he can comfort me when I think all else has failed. I was so upset ( and still am a little ) but I'm going to try and be content and forget about the past. We are going to put last week behind us and start fresh. Thank you God for those moments of comfort and stillness. Even when I walk through the shadows I can still find joy in my heart because of You. Things are looking up and I can't wait to continue this week on the right foot.


( added 5 minutes after original post )
I love how I talk to me mom after writing this post and find out that I literally can't drive anymore. I'm done. No more driving. This is my second accident and now I can't be on my parent's insurance. Well, isn't that a wonderful blow to the stomach.

1. I can't go to 1st service anymore by myself and then go teach Sunday school. ( So now I'll have to look to get fed else where )
2. I can't go to the store real fast, go to Stephen's house, pick up my sister from school if need be. ( a.k.a my independence )
3. I'm going to have to rely on other people for rides and to get me places on time. ( never fun )

Gosh.

10 comments:

  1. You were in an accident?! Oh no! & I'm so sorry that you're unable to drive. But on a happy note, that hidden hill sounds absolutely incredible! I pray this week is much, much better. Love you, dear.

    & You always leave me the nicest comments and brighten my day. Thank you for being such a kind soul. ♥

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  2. Wow ladie, you did have a hard week. But isn't it so true that God only gives us what he knows we are capable in handling. Everything happens for a reason, and good ones if we search.

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  3. Hello. I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry that you are going through a rough patch in your life right now.

    It really is true that when it rains, it pours. I can kind of relate. Sometimes, things just don't work out the way they are supposed to and you just ask God WHY? It usually doesn't help when people say, "Aw, just keep your head up, kid. Things will get better." It doesn't really make you feel better even though it's just the first thing anyone thinks to say.

    I get that a lot lately. I'll give you the shortened version of my current situation: About two months ago, my grandmother passed away after a 4-year battle with cancer. I was her "little nurse" and was at her side until the moment she died. Needless to say, I'm feeling a giant gap in my life right now. Add to that how part of my extended family will have nothing to do with us, and it is a stressful, hostile situation. Then there's how I'm ready to get out of this town. There isn't much for me here. Everyone has gone off to a different school and it just kind of leaves me stuck here, twiddling my thumbs until I can finally transfer to another school next year. I've been under so much stress lately that I'm often physically sick.

    And this may seem terrible, but it's really not. I can honestly say that I am happy. Why?

    I have spent the past year and a half beating myself up over what I had to deal with (or didn't have, for that matter). As I kept doing that, I just kept digging myself a deeper hole. And the only way out is to call up to the only one who can get me out-- God.
    To make a long story short because I'm already babbling on enough, Sunday night I started writing about how much life sucks. Then suddenly it's almost as if on cue, I started writing as if it were a conversation between me and God. And somewhere in those pages, I realized that things probably aren't going to bet better right now, but as long as I TRUST in God and hope, then it won't be as hard. It's all stuff I heard before, but arranged so beautifully that it couldn't have been me writing. I have been foolish in not trusting in God lately, and I have my philosophy teacher to thank for that (NOT). Since God is the only constant in our lives, then the only thing that we can cling to is Him.

    You seem very strong spiritually, and I admire that. You already know everything I just said, but I felt compelled to give you my two cents. When you experience something like that, you pretty much feel like telling people. And I don't know you personally, but via your writing, I do. (By the way, this is the Wennifer who commented a week ago or so.)

    So no matter how much things suck right now, they probably will get better. In fact they will, but good things come in time. Maybe you will learn new things about yourself and others around you by not being able to drive. Or maybe something good will finally happen. If you have known pain and unhappiness, then true joy and happiness is that much more fulfilling. I wish you the best :)

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  4. i've had two cars totaled in the last couple of years, both because i was smashed into by drunk drivers. BOTH times, they must really have it out for me or something. i haven't been able to afford a new car, and i don't trust myself borrowing someone else's car (i'm not exactly the best driver. i'm surprised both accidents were someone else's fault ;)) and i'm not on my parent's insurance anymore, either. so basically, i've been carless for a very, very long time, and it sucks. all of that to say, i feel your pain, more than you know. :(

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  5. It's so good you have someone there for you no matter what! That place does sound special and very romantic.
    Sorry to hear about your driving :( if it makes you feel any better, I've never even gotten my license so I always have to rely on public transport and rides! X

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  6. Krissie@ Thank YOU for your kind words. You were one of the first blogs I've ever followed and I'm so glad we've stayed in touch all this time. :)

    V@ Thank you for your comment...I'm continuing to trust God and send all my cares to Him...because there is no way I can do this on my own!

    Jennifer@ I really appreciate you sharing that with me. I'm VERY close to my grandma and I could imagine feeling the same way when she passes. It's amazing to me that even if rough times you maintain a joyful and hopeful heart. God knows our biggest problems and that's fear. The most repeated phrase in the entire Bible is " do not be afraid." or "why are you afraid?" along those lines. Everyday I live in fear and for what?! I've really learned during this time that it's not about things going the right way or the wrong way: It's about sharing the gospel, worshiping Him everyday and striving for Heaven. That's all we can do sometimes.

    P.S Do you have your own blog Jennifer? hahah I think it's funny that your first comment to me you said you didn't have much to say. haha We bloggers ALWAYS have something to say.


    Kelly@ Wow! That is a pretty darn scary coincidence! Two times?! I'm so glad you are alive Kelly! You've given me hope that you can still have a life and be carlesss...maybe you can give me some tips on how to manage my day. haha.


    Michelle@ I used to take the bus in high school sometimes but being in Southern California I am so spoiled and would rather have my own car and then take the bus. But, in Europe public transportation is much nicer and much more efficient. And yes, it was very romantic. :) Stephen is not the most creative guy but he sure does know how to make me swoon.

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  7. Sorry to hear you're having such a difficult time, hope everything gets better.
    From Carys of La Ville Inconnue

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  8. This is a really cute picture of the two of you! I'm glad you have him with you through tough times like these.

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  9. i´m passing the "one lovely blog award" to you! <3

    have a nice week!
    xoxo, pink lady ♥

    http://we-live-in-a-pink-world.blogspot.com/2010/11/danke-beth.html

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